


Momentum

by snack_size



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Comfort Sex, Grief, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Movie, Survivor Guilt, canon character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-05
Updated: 2013-08-05
Packaged: 2017-12-22 13:50:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/913935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snack_size/pseuds/snack_size
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mako asks Raleigh to speak to Herc after Chuck's death because he is the only one who can really empathize. Raleigh and Herc form a connection and eventually find comfort in one another.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Momentum

“Raleigh.”

He looked up from the book he was reading and gave Mako a slight smile. She had retreated after the memorial service, and it had been clear that she wanted space to herself.

“I want to ask you a favor.” She sat down across from him in the mostly empty commissary. Raleigh had been poking at some pasta for some time now, but he hadn’t been able to eat.

“Anything,” he said.

“I think you may be the best to see to...Marshall Hansen.” Mako paused, and stumbled slightly over the title.

“OK,” Raleigh said. Hansen had been surrounded by the Aussie team at the memorial service and ever since, and Raleigh hadn’t wanted to intrude.

“He is outside with Max.” Raleigh nodded and closed his book. “I will get your dish.”

“Thanks,” Raleigh said. Mako gave him a slight nod. They’d all retreated since that morning. Raleigh knew this hangover had been coming since he’d returned to the celebration at the Shatterdome - there were too many people to have to remember. Now the place was quiet, even though there was plenty of work to do - some people were packing up to head home, some were making back-ups of back-ups of all the Shatterdome tech and computer files and others were getting ready to shift directions and do further research.

It figured that this would be the first sunny day since they closed the Breach. Raleigh watched Herc from a distance for a few minutes. He was slowly pacing the same broad circle. Max wasn’t very enthusiastic. Raleigh wondered how much the dog knew - he certainly knew that Herc was grief stricken, and that Chuck was gone, but Raleigh doubted he could connect the two. Poor thing, he thought.

“Hey,” he said from a few feet away, not wanting to surprise him. Herc looked at up and sighed, and then stopped.

“Raleigh.”

“Yeah,” Raleigh said. He shoved his hands into his pocket. “Well. Nice day.”

“Mako sent you, huh?” Herc said. Raleigh nodded.

Herc knew, of course, that Raleigh knew about Herc and Mako’s relationship - how he had given her positive encouragement and reinforcement whenever he saw her over the years. How he’d sat and listened to her talk about Stacker and helped her understand how to channel her sense of loss in a different way.

Raleigh wasn’t sure what he expected after that - mostly, he figured they would sort of look at each other, then the dog, then the harbor. Instead, Herc sighed. “She wants me to talk about it, but what is there to say? My son. My boy.” Raleigh nodded - he wasn’t entirely sure what to do, since Herc’s eyes were welling up. The Hansens had never seemed very tactile.

Fuck it, he thought, and reached forward slowly. Herc didn’t offer any resistance, so Raleigh wrapped him in a loose hug. “I know,” he said. Herc didn’t say anything, just laid his forehead on Raleigh’s shoulder. “Everyone wanted me to talk too.” He wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that. Herc was the one to break away, and he glanced down at Max.

Raleigh joined him walking, though they covered a larger portion of the deck. Max seemed suspicious of him at first - Raleigh couldn’t help but think that Max thought he was trying to act as a replacement, but then he decided he was definitely over thinking it. Max warmed up eventually, though, and at some point Herc handed the leash to Raleigh.

When it began to get dark, Raleigh finally said, “Want to get something to eat?”

“No,” Herc said. Raleigh pursed his lips and met his eyes. “OK.”

* * *

He didn’t know how he knew - but he did. And there Herc was, seated alone in the empty mess hall, staring at a mug of cold tea.

“You want some tea?” Raleigh asked, and Herc moved his head slowly. His eyes were red and his lips were pressed into a thin line.

“Forgot about it,” he said.

Raleigh got up and went and made two new cups of tea, poured in the milk like Herc seemed to like it. He was probably never going to get over the fact that, in Australia, men were men and they drank tea. “Here,” he said.

“Thanks,” Herc said. It had only been four days, and Raleigh could imagine how Herc felt. Scrubbed raw, shredded, exposed to the salty air of Hong Kong. Herc sighed, and looked completely deflated. He needed these moments so that he could be their Marshal during the day.

“Sometimes.” Raleigh said, and paused, then he clutched his mug of tea and had to look down at it, because his wounds had never closed - never would, but he desperately wanted to tell Herc it would get better. “Sometimes, I see him out of the corner of my eye. He’s right there, like he should be there. And the worst part is that he is there, sort of, except he’s inside me.”

“I still hear him, the little bastard,” Herc said. “Calling me old man. Questioning what I’m doing.” Herc reached over and rubbed Max’s sleeping head. “Telling me not to spoil his dog.”

Raleigh nodded and took a sip of his tea. He waited for Herc to speak, could tell there was something he wanted to say.

“All those pilots who went down...only two survived their co-pilots. And here we fucking are.” Herc snorted, and then inhaled. Raleigh waited, not sure what to do - but it occurred to him that Herc might be moving forward because the PPDC needed him, and only because the PPDC needed him. And maybe because someone had to look after Max.

Raleigh thought about one of his altercations with Chuck, before - _I want a life after this._  Raleigh had no doubt. Twenty-one. He hadn’t even realized he was that young until Mako told him. And how old had Yancy been? Not that they had any illusions - but they both figured if they died, they died together.

He couldn’t really look at Herc, because he knew that he was trying his best to hold back his tears. Max moaned softly and put his head in his lap, and Herc stroked it absently. “He was...got him for Chuck when he made Ranger, when we got Striker. Took him six months to convince us Max needed to be our insignia.”

Raleigh nodded. Chuck would have been fifteen, sixteen then - and it was kind of absurd for a father and son to be riding around in a Jaeger with a flirty woman straddling a bomb.

They sat, silent, for some time. Eventually Herc stood, and Raleigh stood with him, and they walked back to their separate living quarters. Raleigh didn’t go back to bed that evening.

* * *

He arranged it with Tendo. “I don’t even know if it’s a good idea,” he said.

“Well, it’s something,” Tendo replied. He clasped Raleigh on the shoulder and sighed. “I’ll watch Max, yeah?”

He found a place by a river where they would cater all their meals. It cost a bit, but now that they had saved the world people were pouring money into the PPDC - they owned all the Drift tech, the Jaeger tech, and it made Raleigh want to punch someone in the face.

Herc picked the music as they drove, stuff he had grown up with. “You know this?” He asked occasionally. Raleigh would shake his head or nod, and Herc would make a grunting sound of assent regardless.

Raleigh left Herc to himself the first day, but kept an eye on him. The next day they took a hike along the river, again not saying much. They were the only people in the place, and the manager and his daughter definitely knew who they were. Raleigh thanked them, when Herc was sleeping, for not saying anything.

They would up trying to fish on the third day. “Never really done this before,” Herc said. “Especially one handed.”

“Maybe as a kid,” Raleigh said, and immediately regretted it. He knew what it looked like when someone slipped into that space that got carved out in your head after you drifted. Something to do with Chuck, a little Chuck - Raleigh had to wonder if he had always been a brat. He had probably been a really fucking cute kid, even if he was.

Herc sighed, and his eyes welled up and this time he actually let himself cry - it was a little too much for Raleigh, because this was Herc Hansen and he was indestructible.

They were probably going to have to talk. Raleigh pulled back from the immediate topic. “I always knew, I think, deep down, that there was some finality to the decision...to join.”

“Fuck, right?” Herc said. “I never expected...” He sighed, and inhaled. “I fought for him. Twenty-one, he had a whole life waiting for him.”

Raleigh saw it in his eyes, what he had guessed earlier - Herc was going to be PPDC Marshal because they needed him, and because he didn’t know what else to do. But it was a dull motivation and it was tied to things that had a lot stronger pull.

Not that Raleigh had any illusions on what he was about to do. Later, he would wonder if he had planned this, subconsciously, taken advantage of Herc. He had wanted him since their drop in Manila. Since Herc had clapped him on the back at some bar and looked at Raleigh like he meant something. Yancy had teased him mercilessly in the months after - maybe we should ask Stacker for a little furlough to Australia, yeah? But then he lost Yancy, and he pretty much forgot about Herc until he saw him again.

“Nothing left to fight against,” Herc said, and Raleigh knew that he was really expressing the corollary - nothing left to fight for.

Raleigh set his rod down and put a hand on Herc’s shoulder so that he turned towards him. His eyes were raw looking, and Raleigh nodded, ducked his head. Angled Herc a little closer, and Herc was suddenly watching him with interest. Raleigh leaned in so their foreheads touched - like he had with Mako, but not all like he had with Mako. Then he grazed Herc’s lips, gentle, an invitation.

Herc accepted, his own rod falling out of his hands. He pulled Raleigh closer and kissed him hard. Then he seemed to realize what he was doing and pulled away. “Christ, Raleigh-”

“I’ve wanted to do that for a long time,” Raleigh said. “Since Manila. I-”

“Old man like me?” Herc asked.

Raleigh shook his head and kissed him again, tried to express his desire and his respect. Herc ran his fingers through the back of Raleigh’s hair and stroked his thumb across his cheek. Herc deepened the kiss and parted Raleigh’s lips, explored inside him with his tongue.

Herc pulled away and sighed. “This isn’t a pity fuck.”

“No,” Raleigh said, and met his eye. Gave him his most honest look. Promised.

They took their rods and gave them back to the manager, then went to Herc’s room. It was small, but the bed was large, and there was a fresh smell that came in the windows that made Raleigh actually feel alive - no sea salt, no motor oil, no vague stench of city and kaiju guts.

Herc wrapped his arms around him from behind and kissed the back of his neck. His hands rested on Raleigh’s pectorals and he stroked his nipples through Raleigh’s shirt. “Herc-”

Raleigh turned and just kissed him, and then they both sat on the bed and faced each other. Raleigh ran his fingers through Herc’s short hair and grabbed his t-shirt.

Herc tugged Raleigh’s shirt off, and he sighed. His eyes were on Raleigh’s scars, and then he dipped his head down and ran his lips over the ones on his shoulder, his fingers over the ones on his back. Then he slipped his own shirt off. He was just as cut up - but from many different engagements, a variety of scars like a map across him. Raleigh leaned in and kissed his unbroken clavicle, then moved down to kiss his nipple.

They laid down on their sides and slid their pants off. Raleigh curled into Herc, to get their cocks to touch. He felt warm, and safe - Herc was all toned muscle, a body that had been in peak condition for years. Herc put his head in the nape of Raleigh’s neck and inhaled, slightly, before he kissed his neck. They rocked into each other and kissed for what felt like hours, then Herc slid Raleigh’s boxers off and then his own.

“Raleigh - how do you want..?”

Raleigh met his eyes and worried his bottom lip slightly - he had never really cared, so he wanted to do what Herc needed. “I want you inside me,” he said, and Herc groaned a bit so it looked like that had been the right choice.

Herc rolled him onto his back and straddled over him. He had a tattoo on his chest, something Australian Air Force, Raleigh would guess. He traced a hand down Raleigh’s body and rested it on his hip bone. “You are gorgeous,” he said, and Raleigh smiled. “Do you have..?”

Raleigh shook his head, and Herc cursed a bit and went over to the small duffle he’d brought with him. He came back with a small bottle. “It’s not - I didn’t think that we would...”

“No, I know,” Raleigh said, and smiled at him. Raleigh hoped he actually had - maybe it hadn’t been a focus, maybe just a half-formed wish.

Herc set it on the bed and then leaned down and kissed Raleigh hard. He kissed his way down and then placed his lips on Raleigh’s cock and slid down the shaft like he had been doing this to Raleigh for years. “Fuck!” Raleigh said, and he felt Herc smile at his hilt.

“Fuck, Herc, God, that’s so good, you’re so perfect, please-”

“Chatty, eh?” Herc asked, pulling his lips off just enough to speak. Then he looked up and smiled at Raleigh, and Raleigh smiled back. Then Herc’s mouth was back on him, both soft and in control.

Another hand rolled his balls, then the thumb drifted back and found the sensitive skin covering his prostate. Herc rubbed it, sending sparks up into Raleigh, as he worked over his cock.

Then Herc twisted his tongue around the head, found that sensitive little spot and sucked on it. Raleigh arched his back and moaned, and Herc pulled back. He guided Raleigh onto his stomach and spread his legs, took his place between Raleigh’s thighs.

He was slow and gentle as he worked him open. Two fingers crooked and found that perfect spot and Raleigh circled his hips, wanting to get friction for his cock. Herc grabbed the curve of his ass and squeezed. “Patience,” he said, almost a growl.

Raleigh moaned, but stopped, instead lifting himself up slightly to fuck himself on Herc’s fingers. Herc curled them again, then pressed in, deeper than he had before. “Yes, God, like that, that’s what I need-” He slid in and out a few more times, then guided Raleigh over onto his back.

Raleigh looked up at Herc and smiled. Raleigh reached and grabbed the side of his waist, pulling him in closer. He had a smattering of light brown chest hair, a soft trail that led down to his cock. Raleigh wrapped his legs around Herc’s waist and sighed as Herc’s cock moved into his crease. “Easy,” Herc said, voice soft. Raleigh nodded.

Raleigh savored each inch he moved, and he remained still aside from adjusting his legs a bit to get a better angle. Herc grasped his hips and massaged them, then bottomed into Raleigh. “God, yes,” Raleigh said. “Herc, that’s - you feel good, you feel-” Herc slid backwards, almost out of Raleigh, and then into him in one clean motion.

Raleigh groaned at the weight inside of him, arched his hips a bit to get more contact, better contact. “Yes,” Herc said, and his strokes were slow and languid - Raleigh had already resigned himself to the fact that Herc was going to take his time pulling him apart.

He settled, absorbed the feeling, the connection. He’d missed this, so much, and he could see it in Herc’s eyes as well. It wasn’t really settling, though. It was an understanding in two parts. Raleigh knew this wasn’t going to just be a few fucks in the countryside, that he had made a choice when he kissed Herc - and the corollary applied. And they understood that there were plenty of things that they would never have to say, that they had both been damaged in the same way.

He wasn’t sure if he or Herc decided one of Raleigh’s legs needed to be on Herc’s shoulder, but it gave Raleigh more leverage. “Please,” he said, and Herc nodded, and then Raleigh flicked his hips along with Herc and both of them moaned. “Oh, God, right there,” Raleigh said. Herc leaned over and kissed the soft skin inside his knee.

Herc closed his eyes as he increased his pace, and Raleigh arched his back and as his orgasm built he felt alive. “Oh, Raleigh, fuck, yes...” Herc said. “I want you to come on my cock.”

“Fuck,” Raleigh said - until then it had just been words strung together, nothing like...and Herc hit him, deep and head on, and Raleigh issued a load moan. “Then that, do that, fucking hell!” He was warm all over and almost shaking and he needed just a little more. Herc held out, then increased his speed, and Raleigh came across his stomach and for a moment just saw white. Herc didn’t slow, fucked him right through it, and just as Raleigh was shuddering through the end he felt himself filled with warmth. “Uh, fuck.” He said.

Herc opened his eyes and smiled down at him. Raleigh wasn’t sure how long they stayed there. Herc kissed his knee again, and then withdrew. He seemed smaller, in that moment, and Raleigh rolled to his side. He thought Herc would slide in behind him, but instead he went in front. Raleigh rubbed his shoulders, gentle, conscious of the bruising and the break to the one side. Herc sighed. “Thank you,” he said.

“Yes,” Raleigh said. “I mean, you too.”

They fit - not quite, but enough, each of them had the same sort of jagged edges where someone else had been ripped away from them. Raleigh wrapped his arm around Herc and pressed closer to him, kissed gently at his neck.

* * *

**Many Months Later**

Mako had never been good with directions, especially maps. James found it amusing given her proclivity for engineering, the way she could visualize the drawings. She was just glad that he didn’t say anything about how they should have accepted the GPS with their rental.

They wound up stopping at a small village shop. The woman behind the counter looked at them with interest. “Not from around here,” she said.

“No,” James replied, glancing over the shelves and then nodding at the very fresh, very local looking cheese. Mako nodded back. “Hong Kong.” The woman arched an eyebrow.

“First Japan,” Mako said. “And Canada. We are looking for a place.” She pulled out the map.

“Hmm,” she said, and Mako had to smile at the protective look she had. “You know them?”

“Yes,” Mako said, and she reached and pulled at her dog tags - one side clearly emblazoned with PPDC logo. The shopkeep nodded and gave them directions as James paid for more cheese than any two - any four, Mako corrected herself - people could reasonably need.

“It’s gorgeous,” James said when they pulled the car up the drive. It was a small, achingly English cottage made out of stone. As she parked, someone rose in the vegetable garden next to the house. Mako grinned, and darted out of the car.

She ran at Raleigh, and he stepped over the fence and held his arms out for a hug. “You look good,” she said, and smiled. She settled her head into his shoulder. He was still wearing that damn lumpy sweater, though she supposed it fit, given the temperature.

“Thanks.” He lifted his head and smiled as James approached.

“James Dupuis,” he said. Raleigh shook his hand while he still had Mako wrapped around him. “Great place.”

“Just a rental,” Raleigh said, and scratched at the back of his head. James nodded. “Tea?”

“Yes,” Mako said. “You are acclimatizing.”

“Guess so,” Raleigh said. He was slimmer than she remembered, but he would be, without the vigorous work on the wall and the workouts he used to fill his time when he wasn’t on the clock, to try and erase Yancey. To forget. “Put the kettle on,” Raleigh said when he opened the door.

She watched Herc rise from his chair, a little slower than she would have liked - _England,_  Raleigh wrote, _might be a bust. Real damp. Herc discovered he’s got a little arthritis from all those broken bones and isn’t happy about it. Probably a different kind of island next._

Max rose as well and made a beeline for Mako. Max was thinner too, and Mako pressed her lips together when she realized the reason why - Chuck was the one who always gave him table scraps. “Hello, Max,” she said, and kissed his head.

The electric kettle was bubbling by the time they were all inside, and Herc embraced Mako and then turned towards James. “It’s nice to meet you,” James said. Herc eyed him like a father would, inspecting his own daughter’s boyfriend, and Mako tilted her head and smiled at him.

“Yes,” Herc said, finally. “What do you want? Raleigh’s got a whole box of tea.”

Raleigh was already in a cabinet, pulling out an actual hard wood box of tea.

“We got some cheese?” James said, holding up their bag, and Herc nodded.

“Probably some crackers in there, then,” Herc said.

Mako looked out the window - there were sheep grazing in the distance and gentle rolling hills, even though they were only twenty minutes out of Oxford. Raleigh wrapped his arm around her waist as he pivoted in the small kitchen with the tea box and the crackers, then stepped over Max. He handed the crackers to Herc, who looked legitimately confused as to what to do with them.

“Plate, maybe?” Raleigh said.

“Plate,” Herc replied.

Later that evening - after tea and cheese, then wine and dinner, then just wine - Mako curled into James. He ran his fingers through her hair. She felt her throat tighten and the well of tears in her eyes. “I am very happy for them,” she said, though she had a sense of what burdened them as well, because every day she missed Raleigh - and they had only drifted three times.

“They seem happy,” James said.

“Yes,” Mako replied. He ran his thumb over her cheek, wiping her tear.


End file.
